The Daily Office has been taking me through some Old Testament lessons that have been resonating with me in a whole new way as I begin to look toward the new land that I am being led to in this next season. This week we have been in Numbers reading through the story about the Israelites going to scope out the land (the land was more specifically called by the Lord a land "which I am giving to the people of Israel") and bring a report back to the people. They went and saw that it was indeed a very good land. One that was flowing with a lot of good things like amazing produce and vegetation, but it also had some very big people. Most of the spies came back saying "No way." According to their human perspective there was no way that they could conquer and overcome these healthy and wealthy people. Caleb looked through a different set of lenses. He witnessed the same circumstances but his response was one that basically said let's go right now and take it over. The Lord delighted in this type of character. He later said that "my servant Caleb, because he has a different spirit and has followed me fully, I will bring into the land into which he went" (Numbers 14:24). But the people listened to the other spies response and once again everyone started to complain and whine. I love seeing how they immediately jump to the worst case scenario (mainly because I relate so well with that reaction). They began to cry out with complaints such as these... has the Lord brought us all the way here just to devour us? It would have been better to have been left alone in Egypt to be slaves than to come all the way here to be devoured? They were falling back to their old tendencies. This began with the seed of doubt. Doubting what the Lord had said. The Lord had said this is the land "which I am giving to the people of Israel" (Numbers 13:2). But this seed of doubt produced lack of faith in the character of God. God has promised to be with them. He has lifted them up and bore them on "eagles' wings and brought them to Himself" (Exodus 19:4). This lack of faith in who God is, what he has done and what he has promised to do produced cowardly people. Faith in God produced genuine courage in Joshua and Caleb, a courage that caused them to be unafraid to go into the new land. Moses plea to the people when he heard their whining was "..the Lord is with us; do not fear them" (Numbers 14:9). But it was too late their lack of faith brought about wandering in the wilderness for 40 years.
Right now I feel like a spy in the new land that God is calling me to for this next season. I have moved into my new upstairs apartment a stone's throw from Emory, walking distance to the classroom that I will be entering in August. At this point, it still doesn't really feel real. I can still look at the campus and think, "Really, God, you want me here?" and this seed of doubt can lead me to a whole bunch of worst case scenarios that are too numerous to go into here. I look at this new land and see really smart people with mile-long resumes of unique and incredible accomplishments. I have a tendency to relate with the spies that went into the land and thought "no way." Thankfully, God has revealed this tendency to me through this Old Testament story. My tendency to doubt His plans, His calling and His purpose particularly when I look at the land and the people that inhabit it. This doubt produces such a lack of faith. I see where the Israelites lack of faith got them, wandering and death in the wilderness. I long for a genuine courage, the courage of Caleb that saw the mighty people with all their accomplishes and whose response was "what are we waiting for...it is ours to take because of what the Lord has done and said." So as a way to help fix my eyes on Him and the calling He has led me to for this next season. I am going to be taking a few blog posts (but let's be honest...it may just be one) to review what I have learned about calling during the search for calling thus far. I know I will need these rocks along the way over the next couple years.
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