"Setups"...love them or hate them??

It's one of the joys and woes of being single. Yep, you know what I'm talking about. One of your married friends who has completely forgotten what it's like out there in the dating world has this "perfect" friend that she wants you to meet. (This story is told from the woman's point of view...I'm not really familiar with the guy's side of all this).
So she talks to him and she talks to you and works out a "casual" meeting place. You know, a place like Barnes and Noble for coffee or Panera for lunch. The good thing about meeting somewhere is that you do have a way out (ahhh, I've got to go to the waterpark tonight- it was nice meeting you), and it saves you from the awkward do I wait for him to open the door/walk me to the door/make a mad dash for the door scenarios. However, the meeting can be potentially awkward, let's face it the expectations are high. In the back of your friend's mind she's picking out what color she wants the bridesmaid dresses to be (True story- my brother had a friend who was trying to set him up with one of her friends and on her friend's myspace page she literally put what color she wanted the dresses to be...crazy!). Meanwhile, your mind is floating from the extremes of..."maybe this will at least be a little hydration in the desert"...to..."he does sound great, maybe this could be IT."
So after the time and the meeting place are set, the day finally comes, which could potentially be many weeks after this whole idea was brought up...so expectations can be even higher. On "setup" day when you're getting ready you try to look the best you can but in a way that looks like you spent minimal effort doing it. You wear something casual, but straighten the hair, brush the teeth...twice...you know the little things.
The meeting is all about keeping the conversation flowing...if you find something in common stick with it...milk that for all it's worth...avoid awkward silences at all costs!!! Even if it requires talking about wrestling matches or big dogs.
Coming to a close...it's best if you do schedule something later on that you do have to get back for...like I'm meeting my roommate tonight for karaoke... A. it shows that you some personality, especially if you have something cool planned and B. it gives you something to bring the convo to a close with..."well, have fun singing 'Sweet Child of Mine' tonight" (what you have already alluded to as your "go to" karaoke song).
Lastly, as Tom Petty says "The waiting is the hardest part"...if it went well, you wonder what he thought, if it didn't go well, you wonder when you'll find that someone...so the cycle continues...

2006 Olympics

(my Olympic Crush)
I normally don't get consumed with the Olympics like I have for the past two days...maybe the snowstorm and the rather quiet weekend has had something to do with my fascination this year. I just can't get over the risks that these athletes take...whether it's going down the luge at 85 miles an hour and that's a minimum (not too mention the attempts of "grandma luge"- the sole Virgin Island athlete who is well over 50...unfortunately she had to withdraw due to a bad crash into the wall of the luge...ouch!) or going over mogules at 35 mph that leads you to a ramp in which you have the option to do a freestyle move while in the air. The obstacles these athletes overcome can also provide that extra motivation to get up and workout...the male for the Japanese pair figure skating team suffered an achilles tendon rupture last summer (and made a comeback in 6 months...that pretty impressive for this type of surgery) and a US skier has come back from not one but two broken ankles that caused her to pass out from the pain. These guys and gals will do anything to be on the podium. Even though NBC has a tendency to be over dramatic on some of their storytelling, I think hearing the stories and then seeing these athletes live their dream is the best part about the Olympics.
In the book The Call, Os Guinness says that "heroism has fallen on hard times in the modern world." One reason he gives to this crisis is the fact that there are fewer heroes--"because the role of the press and media in creating the modern celebrity and widening the gap between fame and greatness, heroism and accomplishmet." Fame can come instantly these days from winning a singing competition or falling in love with a Bachelor...but heroism is linked to the honor of accomplishment, of having geninuinely accomplished an achievement with sweat, cost, and dedication. I think some of these athletes hint on a truer definition of "heros" than what we normally see the media covering...over and over again.
The final reason Os Guiness gives for the "crisis of herosim" is the so-called death of God in Western society or what should be termed more accurately "the drowning out of the call of God in modern life." Ernest Becker recognized this problem as well and described being a great human being was to be "a knight of faith." He describes this type of man so well, I just have to include it:
"This figure is the man who lives in faith, who has given over the meaning of his life to his Creator...He accepts whatever happens in this visible dimension without complaint...no task is too frightening to be beyond his courage. He is fully in the world on its terms and wholly beyond the world in his trust in the invisible dimension."
Wow...these definitely are beautiful and challenging ideals, but thankfully "one cannont give the gifts of the knight of faith without first being dubbed by some Higher Majesty."
So back to the Olympics...I think my connection or the point of bringing these two thoughts together is that for two weeks we get to see people so caught up in their dream, passion and their eyes so fixed and focused on the goal of their life...that it inspires, drives and guides them to incredible feats. We'll get to see these athletes live out their dreams, and I hope these visible pictures of perseverance will be used to encourage me (and you) to walk out our faith...in the midst of whatever obstacle we may be facing.

" Mary J. is in the spot tonight..."

I had an unexpected blessing on Wednesday. It had been a pretty long day, and when I got home my roommate was watching Oprah (I'm not particularly an Oprah fan so my initial reaction was...why is that on the TV). Mary J. Blige was Oprah's guest and I immediately got glued to the TV as I listened to her story. I didn't know much of her story...but here's a brief outline.
She was raised by a single mother in a New York housing project. She was sexually and physically abused beginning at the age of five. Mary's description of the abuse in her family was that: "It's a vicious cycle. You look at the way your mother is being treated and you think this is the way you're supposed to be treated." Mary turned to drugs and alcohol at an early age. The music industry's partying lifestyle accelerated her downward spiral. "No one was telling me the truth," Mary says. "I had someone say to me, 'Girl, it's okay to drink and be promiscuous.' It was a lot of me just not loving or respecting myself and not thinking I deserved anything better."
But (praise God!) there was a "Breakthrough" (her new album title). Mary says her turning point came in 2001. After the loss of a close friend, her grief was compounded by the death of fellow hip-hop star Aaliyah on August 25 and the 9/11 tragedy. Of course Oprah tried to keep shifting the focus to "Mary J's self-discovery"...but Mary J. kept saying God opened my eyes to who I really was. Mary said from that point on she stopped blaming others for everything (the drug, addiction, etc) and saw herself as who she really was...a sinner. She described how painful that process was and how many of her "friends" left her and called her a "God-freak." But God was continually opening her eyes to the power of forgiveness. Referring to the abuse she endured as a child, Mary said, "I blame (my mother) for nothing, but I forgive her verything." Oprah selected this quote to go in her book of quotations (maybe one day Oprah will understand how Mary J. could make this bold statement...I think it's such a testimony to the power of Jesus' forgiveness in Mary's life).
Mary J. also shared how "grateful she is to God for bringing her husband into her life." The part about their story that really was surprising/encouraging to me was that at first she was disappointed that the marriage alone didn't heal the insecurities that she still battled. "I was looking to my husband to make me feel good about myself," she says. So not only was her husband a blessing because He is a fellow believer to walk with, but he also was used by God to show her that (and she didn't use these words on the show...but I'm hoping this is what she was thinking) Christ alone can meet her needs and defeat her insecurities.
Anyways- Her story was encouraging to me because it just reminded me how important it is to speak Truth into others' lives (even when you think they might not be listening). It made me realize how blessed I am because God has used so many people to speak Truth in my life. I was also thankful that God can use any instrument...even the Oprah show (let me know if you think that's blasphemy!) to speak beauty and Truth into our lives...may we continue to pray for open eyes so that we don't miss the blessings of those moments!!!